Habit 7 is based on the principle that by taking time out to nurture your body, mind, heart, and soul, you become more effective in all other areas of your life.

Remember the story of the goose and the golden egg? You are the goose. You’ve got to take care of yourself if you want to continue to produce. What are your golden eggs? Grades, friendships, being a good brother, son, or a hobby?

There are four dimensions we should renew regularly:

Physical: To Live

Social/Emotional: To Love

Mental: To Learn

Spiritual: To Leave a Legacy

Each dimension overlaps and by strengthening one dimension we also positively impact others. I am working with some veterans trying to get a wellness workshop and sweat lodge organized. My friendships with these folks help me socially, but by talking about and helping one another live well we are addressing some mental and spiritual dimensions. This is like the 7 Habits in general: they are a spider web, pull on one end and the whole web is pulled in that direction.

If each dimension was a scale from poor to excellent where would you place yourself? More importantly what will you do to close the gap?

Habit 7 activities fall in Quadrant II. Remember that from Habit 3? Put First Things First. First is you. This doesn’t mean your life will be easier or you will make more money. When we were going over Habit 7 at the Academy I asked what we were doing-we all said laughing. We were laughing, but contextually we were doing so much more. We were taking time out of our day to day lives to experience life. Like Koz pointed out we stopped drinking and we still had fun. We were renewing commitments to ourselves about our education, Fraternity, family, and friendships.

The legs feed the wolf. In Miracle the team put first things first and was sharpening their saw. It wasn’t easy, but it was important and vital to their success.

I encourage you to examine how Habit 7 can be a priority in your personal life and for your chapter. A chapter that focuses on the four dimensions will be better prepared for the duties of life. They may not be a Hugh Shields, but that is an award and an ambition. Live to your aspirations, and create goals to continually improve.

Sharpening the Saw aligns with our mission statement of Committed to Lives of Excellence. Excellence is about continually improving. The other pieces of our mission statement, such as Life Long Learning and Growth are Vital, Brotherhood Sustains Us, and more will help us build and renew ourselves.

The language of our ceremonies, songs and the Delt Creed teach us to live well and to treat others with compassion. In that light we should help each other sharpen the saw. When we sing Delta Shelter and the second stanza of the creed we are not giving voice to a physical place. We are presenting a metaphor for all of our brothers to be in a safe environment that fosters friendship, conscience, aspiration, self-restraint, opportunity, understanding, loyalty, and embracing one another because of our strength. This is all sharpening the saw. The creed is all about the 7 Habits, and it all starts with Habit 1: Be Proactive. You have a choice to Believe in Delta Tau Delta, just like you have a choice to Sharpen the Saw.

This week write down one thing in each dimension that you will do to Sharpen the Saw and share it with your roommate from DC. Then schedule a time and do it. The legs feed the wolf. You are the wolf.

Did you know the word synergy comes from a Greek work meaning working together?

Synergy is about more than compromise.  It comes from valuing the differences in others and seeking third alternatives.  It’s the product of a win-win mentality (Habit 4) and seeking first to understand before being understood (Habit 5).  The result is a whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

The 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team won the gold medal because it was a perfect model of synergy. Individually they were not the most talented squad, certainly compared to the experienced USSR team, but their combined efforts made them great.  If you’re a sports fan, you can probably think of several teams who have brought together a random assortment of high-priced free agents but seem never to reach the championship.

Remember, the habit is “Synergize.”  Synergy is not always possible, but consistently staying in the mindset will yield more consistent, effective, and productive results in your relationships.

Do you have an example of when you were able to synergize since returning from Washington, D.C.? Send us your story!

As a bit of an aside, we have nearly 500 people registered for Karnea! Our best number at this point was 209 for the LA Karnea in 2002.  So far from our D.C. Academy I see these guys registered: Mickey, Bryce, Hunter, Master P, Hank, and Miguel

While the early bird registration deadline has passed, you still have an opportunity to save some money by registering before June 30.  Visit www.karnea.org for more information.  There is a reunion for all leadership academy graduates on Thursday night at Karnea.  Let’s get the whole gang back together – see you in Pittsburgh!

Habit 5 is based on the principle that diagnosis must precede prescription.

This habit teaches us about effective communication. Empathic listening is the fastest form of human communication. This is listening with our eyes, heart, and ears to hear the whole message. Empathic listening teaches us to repeat back what we hear. This does not mean solely with words though; just as we listen with our eyes, heart and ears, we speak with those too. The words we use only make up 7% of our communication. 38% is our sounds and how we say things, and 55% is nonverbal.

If Empathic Listening is the highest form of listening and communication, what are the others that don’t work so well?

Ignoring: Putting forth no effort

Pretending: Appearing as if you are listening

Selective: Hearing only what interests you

Attentive: Paying more attention, being focused, being polite

How can we say Brotherhood Sustains Us if we are not truly listening to our brothers?

We learned that Habit 5 builds on Habit 4. In public victory Habit 4 is the root. Habit 5 is the route and Habit 6 is the fruit. But don’t forget our private victory and the importance of Being Proactive.

Remember the story of my sergeant? Sergeant Dixon was always telling me to do stuff-I felt unnecessary things, especially when he wasn’t really in my chain of command. I knew a bunch if stuff was going on with him and a court case, but not much more. I used to think to myself why is he asking me to do this, why is he talking to me, what does he want this time? I was on active duty one summer and a captain came in and said Sergeant Dixon had died. We found out two days later that he dropped his daughter off at childcare on Father’s Day and never picked her up. The sitter got in touch with his dad a few hours south and he drove up to his apartment and to get his daughter since no one could reach his son. He found his son, on Father’s Day, and he had committed suicide. He tried cutting himself and poisoning himself, and when that didn’t work he shot himself in through the chest.

I beat myself up for a long time. I thought if only I had listened or that maybe all those things he was telling me to do were opportunities for me to talk to him; to understand him. It was Adam who clued us in that this goes back to Habit 1, and that Sgt. Dixon dying, although sad, wasn’t in my circle of influence. Adam understood that we cannot control other people’s actions, and to continue to be effective we must go all the way back to Habit 1. And by utilizing Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood, we can also serve as a Transition Person to those who might need it. I needed a transition person, and was lucky to be around some good Marines to help in that time. In the Fraternity we will all deal with something difficult; and it is reassuring to know someone is out there not only to listen, but to try and understand what we say, think, and feel.

This week, listen with the intent to understand. When you find yourself listening with the intent to reply hold back, remember Habit 1. You have the Freedom to Choose between the stimulus and response. Choose to listen with your eyes, heart, and ears. Choose to pause and utilize empathic listening rather than prescribing before you diagnose.

Brotherhood Sustains Us,

Jeremy

Have you been thinking win-win lately?

Remember that thinking win-win is the mindset of abundance.  Many people live in a paradigm of scarcity which leads to mistrust, and destructive competition.   The paradigm of abundance believes there’s enough for everyone.  Everyone can win.

Habit 4 is THINK win-win.  Remember your circle of influence.  You can control your own behavior; not the behavior of others.  Even in poor situations, maintaining the mindset of win-win is more effective.

Thinking win-win is exercising high courage and high consideration.  You are respecting others, listening empathically, and being honest with your feedback.    Effectively practicing this habit will often be a deposit in the emotional bank account of those important to us.  Think about a relationship where you may have overdrawn your emotional account.  Make a deposit today to re-energize that relationship.

Our Greek communities are often rife with competition.  We spend so much energy fighting against each other during things like recruitment, we forget how powerful we can be when working together.  The majority of our potential new members are people who aren’t coming to rush.  Don’t think of recruitment as a battle for scarce resources.  Concentrate your energies (and synergize with another fraternity) and do something to raise the bar for all Greeks on your campus.

Remember the Fraternal Caucus that Kevin O’Neill spoke about?  Have you brought that message back to your campus?  What are you doing with your interfraternal brothers and sisters to think win-win and promote the issues important to Greeks.

http://www.fraternalcaucus.org/

Habit 3 is based on the principle that effectiveness requires a balance among your important relationships, roles, and activities. Habit 3 is where the rubber meets the road.

Zack had a great question during this time. He asked where there was room for spontaneity. Habit 3 is not about making you a machine; it is about you determining your priorities and acting on them. This past weekend the weather here was awesome, and I chose to run some errands before doing my laundry. As I was running errands I thought who cares about laundry, I’m going to do something outside while it’s nice. So I stayed out and did laundry on Sunday. The laundry is still a priority, but I can rearrange that. Enjoying the weather connects to my mission statement on a few levels, and being outside helps me sharpen the saw. Besides, I’m living to live, not living to do laundry. Now if I just wait because I can and I’m not acting on priorities where does that get me? I’ll tell you where-in some nasty boxers and hating life, and probably not even enjoying the weather.

In this Habit we looked at the Time Management Matrix, which consisted of Quadrants 1-4. Let’s review each of those.

Quadrant 1: The Procrastinator. These things are urgent and important, but might’ve been accomplished earlier if we had aligned our integrity to our actions.

Quadrant 2: The Prioritizer. These things are not urgent and important. Sharpening the saw is a Q2 activity, along with continually preparing, building relationships, and re-creation.

Quadrant 3: The Yes Man. Not important yet urgent. These are other people’s priorities.

Quadrant 4: The Slacker. Not important, not urgent. This is continual procrastination, time-wasting activities. Too much sharpening the saw could fit in here; just watch American Gladiators.

Our goal should be to stay out of Quadrants 3 & 4! Q1 activities will always happen-last minute assignments for class or work, an emergency, etc. If we don’t do what is important to us while it isn’t urgent, those things quickly become Q1. It is not default, it is design-we are not only the architect of our lives, we are the builders.

Get a planning system to help with Habit 3. In our planning we should do three things:

1. Review your mission and your roles

2. Choose your big rocks

3. Schedule the week (with big rocks 1^st!)

Let’s break this down-

Each week I should review mission and roles. So my mission: CLICK. Creativity, Love, Integrity, Communication, and Knowledge. I look at it and take a second to think about it. Then I look at each of my roles, connect to my mission and think about my week:

• Sharpen the Saw (Physical, Social/Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual)
• Family
• Friend
• Delta Tau Delta
• Community Member

When I schedule the week I ask myself what is the most important thing that I can do in this role this week? For me it is only one or two things in that role. It might seem simple, but everything else will fill your schedule. A big rock for me used to be calling my family back home. Now that is habitual, so it’s not a big rock. Since I moved from Georgia I’ve been bad at communicating to friends there, so a constant big rock is identifying a friend to call or message. As a Delt my role is my job, my brothers from Iota Theta, and an alumnus. Sometimes one big rock could impact different roles positively. I call my friend from KSU, he’s a Delt so I get caught up on the Chapter and I reconnect emotionally with others and myself. Just doing one important thing each week in our roles can yield tremendous results; we won’t spontaneously change or improve anything in our lives or the world, it is all the result of consistent prioritization and dedication.

Volcanoes don’t just erupt, things are happening below the earth well in advance.

Companies don’t just go bankrupt; accounts and spending were questionable beforehand.

Soldiers don’t just become heroes; they train harder and harder and harder.

You don’t just get excellent; you create and plan-you imagine and you act.

“The nicest thing about not planning is that failure comes as a complete surprise rather than being preceded by a period of worry and depression.” – Sir John Harvey-Jones

Let’s bypass the surprise of complete failure and figure out what is meaningful to us, and strive to live that on a daily basis. Our mission of Committed to Lives of Excellence is accompanied by the statement that Accountability is Fundamental to all Commitments. Our commitment to excellence requires that we continually improve, that we learn from our failures and build on our successes. The first person to hold ourselves to these statements is in fact our self; that’s what integrity is all about. You define excellence; the organization doesn’t spell it out for you. You decide how to hold yourself accountable before anyone else does. By putting first things first we honor that commitment by living it daily.

Integrity is Essential,

Jeremy

Habit 2:  Begin with the End in Mind.

My end in mind for this message is to refresh your memory on Habit 2 and keep you engaged in living the 7 Habits.

Are you living your life by default or by design?

Habit 2 says the best way to predict your future is by creating it.  We learned that all things are created twice.  Mental creation precedes physical creation.  Each of the monuments we saw in D.C. began with an artist or architect’s vision.  In our own lives, we are effective by taking the same approach: having a plan and then executing the plan.

In D.C. you began to create a personal mission statement.  This personal mission statement is your plan for life.  It should focus on what you want to be (character) and do (contributions and achievements).

Have you looked at or thought about that statement since returning home?  Have you made any revisions?  Don’t be discouraged if you feel like you haven’t mastered it yet.  It took several drafts to write the Declaration of Independence!  http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/compare.htm

Let the personal mission statement be your own declaration of independence, as you work to master the habits of the private victory.

If you need help with creating your mission statement, FranklinCovey’s website offers some very helpful tools.  Click the following link for more information: http://www.franklincovey.com/fc/library_and_resources/mission_statement_builder

Habit 1 is based on the principle that you are responsible for your own choices. You have the freedom to choose and can influence your own life. When you are proactive, you choose how to respond to circumstances instead of automatically reacting to them. The freedom to choose is reinforced by using your ‘proactive muscles’ which we call the Four Human Endowments, which are:
Self-Awareness: Ability to examine our mood, thoughts, and behavior
Imagination: Ability to visualize beyond current experience and circumstance
Conscience: Understanding of right and wrong
Independent Will: Ability to act independent of external influences

Remember Mickey’s point that this is about how we react to situations around us; it is not just evading the bad stuff? Being proactive is about pausing to think about how we will respond to a stimulus, and this is a life-long process that is vital to our success. Stone was our example; he was proactive in his response to getting cut down by the other soccer player, and he served as an example to the boys he coached by emulating that freedom to choose within their own lives. Stone is what we call a transition person; someone who challenges negative patterns in life and gives way to positive patterns of behavior. Who is a transition person for you? For me it is some artists, mentors, and even biographies I read which allow them to serve as a transition person for me even after their own lives have ended.

Gaining more control over our lives involves thinking of two categories: the Circle of Influence (things we can influence through our choices) and the Circle of Concern (things we cannot influence at all). By focusing on our Circle of Influence we increase our influence and gain more control over those things we can influence. We should use our self-awareness to examine our feelings, positive or negative, and see if they are a result of putting energy into the Circle of Influence or Concern.

Habit 1: Be Proactive, is the cornerstone habit. Our freedom to choose ultimately sets the stage for our future success. The founders of our country embodied this in the Declaration of Independence the Constitution; they were not guaranteed these rights, but they recognized the freedom to choose and used their imagination to visualize a better future. On the footsteps of the Lincoln Memorial Dr. King recognized the freedom to choose his words and actions. Although he was assaulted physically and verbally throughout his adult life, he chose to respond by pausing first to recognize his ultimate goal of freedom and a beloved community. This is continually indicated in his speeches and writings, and he used his conscience to guide him.

This week use your independent will. Think about your freedom to choose and how to continually practice the art of choosing wisely. Think of something that truly upsets you and figure out what you can do in your Circle of Influence to positively impact the situation. Be a transition person to someone like Stone was for the boys: Demic volunteers as a Big Brother, some of you may be a transition person for a chapter brother that could use your ears or an uplifting word.

Life-Long Learning and Growth are Vital,

Jeremy

Tonight we had the pleasure of having Larry Altenburg attend our final dinner. After dinner he gave us a speech on a variety of topics. He addressed a situation with a chapter closing nearby. We had a group conversation that centered on what happened there and how a chapter could fall into that situation. After the conversation we concluded that a chapter does not suddenly become like that, it changes over time. Larry discussed with us that the members that behave beyond the scope of our values were not true brothers because they did not uphold those values which separate us from everyone else. During the Q&A he helped gave us insight on many different things, including the colony process, how to avoid a situation with a chapter closing due to hazing, the growth of future chapters, and Karnea. Larry was one of our group’s favorite speakers. Conversation with Larry was really easy because he spoke with us as Delts. 

The tour of the National Mall was one of the most moving experiences of our lives. It brought American history right into our face. The most moving portion of this part of the trip was walking through the Lincoln Memorial. This showed us how much history and background this monument has. It all started once you walk in and the main focus of the monument is a HUGE statue of President Lincoln sitting in a chair. We are glad to have been given the chance to see this monument and also to feel the power this piece of American culture possessed.

Just as the Declaration of Independence ties to certain civil liberties, our Delt ritual is tied to natural values. We, as Americans, hold the freedom of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness in the same regards as Delts hold the values of Truth, Courage, Faith, and Power. Just as our forefathers paved the way for America, the forefathers of Delta Tau Delta paved the way for us. The values that they held in high regard in 1858 still hold the same weight today. The ritual and values connect us all as brothers, and we can share that bond through space and time. We hold our ritual in as high of a regard as the Constitution because it creates the foundation of Deltism. This reflects the creation of the foundation of America. The archives protect the Constitution as well as we protect the secret of our ritual. As we go through life, we often live the values without being aware of that fact. Americans will never realize who they really are until they see the important documents that helped to create this great country, just as a Delt will never understand the meaning of Deltism until he fully understands the meaning of the ritual.